Saturday morning we had to leave the Hamilton, TX auction barn and find another place to stay. We walked up a driveway past many beautiful Boer goats and knocked on a door. The woman we spoke with was friendly but her pastures were full. She took us across the street and up the hill to another house and knocked on the door. There was room for three ponies and two women while we tried to figure out the next step. By Monday we had a horse haven arranged in Cedar Park, north of Austin – but no way to get there! I’ve spent the last two days making ‘phone calls, sending e-mails, asking everyone I can find or think of, trying to arrange for a trailer to carry us the 100 miles from here to there – and failing. It’s the holiday season and people are busy! We can cover the cost of gas and a bit, but nowhere near what the big professional shipping companies charge and I feel like I’m running out of options.
I was talking with my Mom last night about faith and trust in the context of “seek and ye shall find”, “ask and it shall be given” – and how this Journey has been such an amazing experience of everything we’ve needed being provided just as we’ve needed it – but there’s also the matter of asking and seeking… She reminded me of Joseph, with a donkey and a very pregnant Mary, going door to door, knocking and asking – “Is there room in the Inn? Can we stop here for the night?” I feel for the man! With every ‘phone call I’m feeling more and more like a nuisance. The timing is inconvenient to say the least and it’s hard to be continually dependent on the kindness of strangers in a world where we’re all supposed to be self-sufficient (and have a vehicle!)
Gryph and I are feeling incredibly grateful that we’ve been offered a place where we can hole up and hide for Christmas; a blessed relief from the necessity of knocking on doors over the holiday season when people are wrapped up in their family traditions and celebrations. We’ve also been offered a good pasture situation for the ponies nearby. We’re all currently safe and sound and comfortable, humans and horses alike. The swelling in Luna Jack’s leg is much improved and it’s looking very likely that she’ll be ready to roll by the New Year. We have so very much to be thankful for, and yet where is my focus? I’m stewing and worrying and feeling weighed down with the responsibility of figuring things out and making things happen and keeping it all under control. Haven’t I learned anything in the past year!?
There has to be a balance here somewhere. One of the things my Dad drilled into us growing up was: “Who built the ark for Noah?” (The answer was obvious – his kids! -> just kidding Dad.) It does kind of put a new spin on the verse “faith without works is dead.” I can have all the faith in the world that a way down to Cedar Park will be provided, but if I don’t make the ‘phone calls and rattle the bushes, how will anybody know that I need help? On the other hand, now that I’ve spent two days doing everything that I know to do, why can’t I “let go and let God” and just wait in peaceful acceptance of the situation, Knowing that everything we need will be provided at the perfect time? When do I just let it all go and take a walk outside? How about now?
OK – real time here – and I am Not kidding you! I finished writing that last paragraph, went and found Gryph who was feeding and watering the ponies and we went for a walk, down the road to The Dutchman for a loaf of fresh homemade bread. They were sold out for the day so we got some crackers and cheese – and ice cream cones for the walk home. We had just started making dinner when the ‘phone rang. “Call Bob. Here’s his number. He’ll run you down there.” So I did, and he will, tomorrow morning. Blessings on Bob, and on Marilyn, who didn’t give up! Besides, who knows how things work behind the scenes; maybe all this stress and process was necessary just so that I’d write this blog post and somebody I’ll never meet could read it when they’re in a similar situation…